Recall!
Had clinic today. I go down to the UW every week or two for them to take my blood and for me to see Sandy. She is the transplant coordinator. She takes really good care of me. Makes sure my labs are good, It is like I get a check up every two weeks. I have had like a zillion blood draws at that darn lab and they still forget to get one and I end up getting poked twice. Arrgh! I really do not mind the needles but geez… but I get so many different tubes drawn that it is easy to get mixed up.
The UW has me so dialed in that she says that my labs are better than hers. The doctor who saw me before the surgery said that I am the healthiest transplant patient he has ever seen. Lots of people see me after hearing about my ordeal and are like “Where is the sick guy?” I just tell them if they want to see sick, I can unplug the batteries. Then you will see sick.
I am pretty lucky to have the care I have. I mean I will not go into it but let’s just say that even if you are in the medical field and you really watch what’s going on and try to champion your care….things can get missed. If you ever think that something doesn’t seem right or just a gut feeling, don’t ignore it. Find out what it is and if you don’t get an answer, find someone who will.
For example, I have been checking my ins statements. I look at them to see when I am going to hit the max and they kick me to the curb. I can imagine that there is some big office with a bunch of the insurance guys going “How the heck did we get THIS guy? And how do we get rid of him? He ate up all of second quarter’s profits!!!!” But I was checking on my clinic bills. They would run like $1000 every time I went down. Then I started getting clinic bills for like $8-9k. I was like Huh? So I call and they said you need to get an itemized bill before we can talk about it. Sooo a week later they send it and I look at it. There is a $127.00 charge x like 47!!!! That is why. I call and they say….I don’t know. I ask again a week later and they say “I think it is a blood thing” Thanks. So I get Sandy to call the Blood Bank cause that is where it is going and the lady on the other end says “Oh yes, we have seen this error and the UW is aware of it….pause….. Sandy says “so is there anything being done about it?” Who knows. Well this all gets taken care of but my question is would it get fixed if I did not catch it? If you want to you can poke holes in any system but I am just hitting some of the highlights just for the sake of argument.
OH…if you really want to hear something funny, listen to this. So Thursday I go down for the dry run for the transplant. Big disappointment, I kind of mope around for the weekend and get myself together. Then on Monday Jules is taking me to work and I get a text….THERE IS A RECALL NOTICE OUT ON YOUR HEART MACHINE!!!!!!! I really started laughing my butt off. I mean really. Recall? You are kidding me? What am I supposed to do, go to the customer service desk at Thoratec and yank the half of it that is in my body and plop it on the desk and ask the salesperson for an in store credit!!!
Well I called and it turned out that Thoratec put out an advisory regarding the device. The driveline that goes from the machine in my heart out of my belly and to the controller is basically a power cord. Power cords can go bad. Of the almost 2000 units they put in 27 went bad, 17 had to be replaced with surgery and of those people 5 died in the process. That is a terrible thing for the family of the 5 and a great pain for the 20 or so people. But of the total number of devices this is not a very large number, I can live with those odds. The press was using the word “recall” because I guess it sounds sexier than “advisory”.
What can you do, really? We just do the best you can with the information you have at the time.
Friday, October 31, 2008
Friday, October 24, 2008
False alarm
It has been a while since I have written on this blog. Things have been just in wait mode. But yesterday I got the call that they had a potential heart for me. I went down to the UW hospital checked in, had blood drawn, and waited. They said it would be 4 to 5 hours until they know for sure. A surgeon had to actually look at the heart and say if it was a go. I guess the heart had to be transported via air to the university. I got there around 1pm. At 830 I got the bad news. They said that the heart was not usable. The heart had a contusion and they did not want to risk it. For those of you with a working heart, should you get a contusion (bruise) on it you would recover. The problem for transplant is that the heart with a bruise does not do well when it has to be on ice and out of the body in between transplant.
I am disappointed that the transplant didn’t go through but I am positive that the right one is out there. I also feel bad for the family of the gentleman who died and started this process. They could not give me any information about the possible donor but I did find out that the donor was a bicyclist hit by a car. I also do not like the fact that I am waiting for something like this to happen so that I might get a heart.
I am disappointed that the transplant didn’t go through but I am positive that the right one is out there. I also feel bad for the family of the gentleman who died and started this process. They could not give me any information about the possible donor but I did find out that the donor was a bicyclist hit by a car. I also do not like the fact that I am waiting for something like this to happen so that I might get a heart.
Monday, August 11, 2008
Keeping On
I made it out of the hospital in about 3 weeks. Every day I felt a lot better than the day before. Shauna trained me and a core group of friends and family up on my new machine. I have to change my batteries every 3 hours. Lots of medications. Those take a while to settle down but I have been really lucky. The funniest part is at night I sleep plugged into the wall. They don’t want you to sleep on battery because obviously you could sleep through battery changing time. I have a 20 foot cord that just reaches the toilet.
You cannot drive while you have this thing in because they worry about airbags hitting you and causing that piece of metal inside to start slicing things up in there. I also have to have someone with me 24 hours a day. I mentioned Brian Ash before. He and I went to medic school together the year before and he has been there for this whole thing. He kept the department informed on when I could get visits. He updated the dept on my progress. He talked to the insurance company about my LVAD. He set up a sign up sheet for people from Everett FD to come and sit with me when Julie was at work. You will not find a better friend.
But that is the amazing thing about this whole thing. I have received so much support and people have been so kind. I have witnessed the very best in people from this. I will never be able to thank everybody enough for what they have done. I can only hope to pay it forward a bit.
I now am working light duty at the fire department. The City of Everett and the Fire Department have been great during this. Who knows how this thing will turn out but I have been treated like family and could not of asked for a more supportive organization. I am on the list waiting for a transplant. But even though I have not finished this thing I feel content right now. I am doing well on this machine and wake up with Julie and see my kids every day. 10 years ago you did not leave the hospital with this. The heart will come when it does. I have a hard time praying too hard for it because in order for me to get a transplant someone else has to die. I don’t like that part. I have been an organ donor since I got my driver’s license. I figured that if I was not using it then let someone else. I had never thought about it that much. But now I am counting on someone to feel the same way. If you do want to be an organ donor, let someone know. Get it in writing. That is something that is too hard for the family to handle at that time.
The latest news is that I am 1a status for the next 30 days. That means that I am higher on the list. Everyone gets top of the list status for 30 days after they recover from the surgery. They did 5 transplants last month. I could be going in any day now…..
You cannot drive while you have this thing in because they worry about airbags hitting you and causing that piece of metal inside to start slicing things up in there. I also have to have someone with me 24 hours a day. I mentioned Brian Ash before. He and I went to medic school together the year before and he has been there for this whole thing. He kept the department informed on when I could get visits. He updated the dept on my progress. He talked to the insurance company about my LVAD. He set up a sign up sheet for people from Everett FD to come and sit with me when Julie was at work. You will not find a better friend.
But that is the amazing thing about this whole thing. I have received so much support and people have been so kind. I have witnessed the very best in people from this. I will never be able to thank everybody enough for what they have done. I can only hope to pay it forward a bit.
I now am working light duty at the fire department. The City of Everett and the Fire Department have been great during this. Who knows how this thing will turn out but I have been treated like family and could not of asked for a more supportive organization. I am on the list waiting for a transplant. But even though I have not finished this thing I feel content right now. I am doing well on this machine and wake up with Julie and see my kids every day. 10 years ago you did not leave the hospital with this. The heart will come when it does. I have a hard time praying too hard for it because in order for me to get a transplant someone else has to die. I don’t like that part. I have been an organ donor since I got my driver’s license. I figured that if I was not using it then let someone else. I had never thought about it that much. But now I am counting on someone to feel the same way. If you do want to be an organ donor, let someone know. Get it in writing. That is something that is too hard for the family to handle at that time.
The latest news is that I am 1a status for the next 30 days. That means that I am higher on the list. Everyone gets top of the list status for 30 days after they recover from the surgery. They did 5 transplants last month. I could be going in any day now…..
LVAD
I spent my birthday in the hospital (feb 26). Not the greatest place to have it. Julie brought me in some cake and the boys came in to visit me. We tried to plan for the kids to come see me when I was feeling good. The BIG surgery was the next day and I did not want to have the kids see me intubated and on a ventilator. I just did not think that was something they needed to see. I did not want Julie to see me in that state either because to me that would be torture to look at your loved one like that.
The device they placed in me is a LVAD, or left ventricular assist device. My particular one is the Heartmate II by Thoratec. The rep came in and showed me one a couple of days before the surgery. It looks like metal tube shaped like an E with the middle leg cut out. It attaches to the bottom of my left ventricle and again at my aorta. It bypasses the left side of my heart basically. There is a “waterwheel” in the middle that flows the blood through to compensate for my inefficient, big, floppy heart. It spins at about 10000 rpm. A power cord goes from the device, out of my stomach, to a “controller” or the brains of the thing. From the controller there are two cords that go to two batteries.
When the rep came in I had some of my friends from my previous job at Snohomish County Corrections there and the mood was light. Well the rep gave me this thing and I started trying to take it apart. When everything is out of your control it was nice to be able to see some of the process. Shauna the nurse was worried that I would break this thing that looked like it came from True Value Hardware Plumbing department but costs the same as a Mercedes. The rep assured us that this was the dummy prop and I would not hurt anything. I see Shauna weekly and to this day she still will not let me touch anything in the office.
I did not sleep much the night before surgery. Too much on my mind. The surgeon came in the evening before. I told him not to stay out too late that night and not too much coffee in the morning, unless that was his norm. Dr Mokadam is good guy. He is all surgeon but even has a good personality. That is a bonus in the surgeon department. I could care less if my surgeon has a great bedside manner. I want him to cut straight and not waiver.
I remember being wheeled down to the surgery room. Crunch time. I was scared out of my mind at that point. But then it was night, night.
Surgery was a long day for Julie. Lots of family and friends were there for support. Hours went by. I was wheeled back to the room after surgery and Julie had to wait for them to get me switched over before she could see me. Unfortunately they did not come to get her, and doctors and nurses rushed into the room. Then I was rolled back to surgery. I had started bleeding again. They took me down and opened me up and the Doc said that I was bleeding from everywhere. They called it a Heparin rebound. At that point they continued to give me blood to keep me stable. I guess all you can do is ride it out at that point and wait for it to stop. In my mind it would be like a whole surgery team literally sitting around waiting for paint to dry.
Fortunately I did stop and woke up about 12 hours after the start.
The device they placed in me is a LVAD, or left ventricular assist device. My particular one is the Heartmate II by Thoratec. The rep came in and showed me one a couple of days before the surgery. It looks like metal tube shaped like an E with the middle leg cut out. It attaches to the bottom of my left ventricle and again at my aorta. It bypasses the left side of my heart basically. There is a “waterwheel” in the middle that flows the blood through to compensate for my inefficient, big, floppy heart. It spins at about 10000 rpm. A power cord goes from the device, out of my stomach, to a “controller” or the brains of the thing. From the controller there are two cords that go to two batteries.
When the rep came in I had some of my friends from my previous job at Snohomish County Corrections there and the mood was light. Well the rep gave me this thing and I started trying to take it apart. When everything is out of your control it was nice to be able to see some of the process. Shauna the nurse was worried that I would break this thing that looked like it came from True Value Hardware Plumbing department but costs the same as a Mercedes. The rep assured us that this was the dummy prop and I would not hurt anything. I see Shauna weekly and to this day she still will not let me touch anything in the office.
I did not sleep much the night before surgery. Too much on my mind. The surgeon came in the evening before. I told him not to stay out too late that night and not too much coffee in the morning, unless that was his norm. Dr Mokadam is good guy. He is all surgeon but even has a good personality. That is a bonus in the surgeon department. I could care less if my surgeon has a great bedside manner. I want him to cut straight and not waiver.
I remember being wheeled down to the surgery room. Crunch time. I was scared out of my mind at that point. But then it was night, night.
Surgery was a long day for Julie. Lots of family and friends were there for support. Hours went by. I was wheeled back to the room after surgery and Julie had to wait for them to get me switched over before she could see me. Unfortunately they did not come to get her, and doctors and nurses rushed into the room. Then I was rolled back to surgery. I had started bleeding again. They took me down and opened me up and the Doc said that I was bleeding from everywhere. They called it a Heparin rebound. At that point they continued to give me blood to keep me stable. I guess all you can do is ride it out at that point and wait for it to stop. In my mind it would be like a whole surgery team literally sitting around waiting for paint to dry.
Fortunately I did stop and woke up about 12 hours after the start.
Friday, June 6, 2008
Hospital LIfe
Hospital Life
It was pretty shocking to find out that you need a new heart. All the plans that you make and all the things you prepare for do not include major organ failure.
I have to tell you that the doctors and nurses at the University of Washington are some of the best around. They are very good at what they do and are really compassionate. I had no idea what to think or do at the time but they put you on the right track. My wife Julie is amazing in that she meets problems head on and she has held everything together during this time.
Now that I was on the heart transplant list they had to do what seemed like a million tests. Everything has to be checked and accounted for when they go to match a person up with a donor heart. The staff was great and it was the first time I had ever been completely dependent on others. I was in bed, I had to lay basically flat because the balloon pump would not work right if I sat up or tried to get out of bed. I did not leave the room for a week. My vision was confined to what I could see in front of me in the room and a call light that also turned the channel on the TV. The next room may as well have been another continent. Very strange.
My family and friends were really good and came to see me a lot. Julie would come and see me and stay or go up and see the kids. My boys Garrett and Baylor are 9 and 7 and they have been great through this but I do believe it is because Julie has kept things as normal as possible for them. Her parents Mike and Marilyn stayed at the house and kept everything together at home. Brian Ash is a good friend who I went to medic school with me and he has been there almost every day since this has happened. He kept the department informed on my condition and arranged time for people to come and sit with me when I was stuck at home.
At the hospital you will find that you do not get a lot of sleep. They wake you up it seems like every time you start to get some real sleep. Plus you can keep your mind busy thinking of stuff during the day. At night it is hard to distract yourself and you find yourself feeling quite alone and scared about what has happened.
The nurses at UW seem to understand this and would talk to me and explain things and answer my constant questions. I felt like I was lucky to have some medical knowledge and had just finished medic training. I understood the physiology and the reasons for the medications they were giving me. I laugh because CHF was the favorite subject of Dr. Copass and we learned it well at Harborview. So I trained for 10 months at Harborview, I think I was a medic in the field for about 3 months, then I go into heart failure. Whooppss
It was pretty shocking to find out that you need a new heart. All the plans that you make and all the things you prepare for do not include major organ failure.
I have to tell you that the doctors and nurses at the University of Washington are some of the best around. They are very good at what they do and are really compassionate. I had no idea what to think or do at the time but they put you on the right track. My wife Julie is amazing in that she meets problems head on and she has held everything together during this time.
Now that I was on the heart transplant list they had to do what seemed like a million tests. Everything has to be checked and accounted for when they go to match a person up with a donor heart. The staff was great and it was the first time I had ever been completely dependent on others. I was in bed, I had to lay basically flat because the balloon pump would not work right if I sat up or tried to get out of bed. I did not leave the room for a week. My vision was confined to what I could see in front of me in the room and a call light that also turned the channel on the TV. The next room may as well have been another continent. Very strange.
My family and friends were really good and came to see me a lot. Julie would come and see me and stay or go up and see the kids. My boys Garrett and Baylor are 9 and 7 and they have been great through this but I do believe it is because Julie has kept things as normal as possible for them. Her parents Mike and Marilyn stayed at the house and kept everything together at home. Brian Ash is a good friend who I went to medic school with me and he has been there almost every day since this has happened. He kept the department informed on my condition and arranged time for people to come and sit with me when I was stuck at home.
At the hospital you will find that you do not get a lot of sleep. They wake you up it seems like every time you start to get some real sleep. Plus you can keep your mind busy thinking of stuff during the day. At night it is hard to distract yourself and you find yourself feeling quite alone and scared about what has happened.
The nurses at UW seem to understand this and would talk to me and explain things and answer my constant questions. I felt like I was lucky to have some medical knowledge and had just finished medic training. I understood the physiology and the reasons for the medications they were giving me. I laugh because CHF was the favorite subject of Dr. Copass and we learned it well at Harborview. So I trained for 10 months at Harborview, I think I was a medic in the field for about 3 months, then I go into heart failure. Whooppss
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
Realizations
Realizations
Last entry was an introduction to me and the whirlwind trip of January and Febuary 2008 when I went from healthy guy to "heart transplant guy". It was not until I was at the UW that I had any type of realization of what exactly was going on. When the doc said you need a transplant I changed. Looking back on the events in hindsight it make sense what was going to happen. But obviously there would not be a blog if I just got better and went on my merry way.
For the first couple of weeks I was convinced that I would be back in the fire companies in a couple of weeks. There is no “smoking gun” from the biopsy that they did on my heart when I was cracked open. The medical term is idiopathic, or unknown. We are sorry Mr. Goforth but we cannot give you a reason why your heart blew up. But you hope for the best and fight.
When they made the discovery they put you on a lot of medications to help the heart pump more efficiently, move out any extra fluid, and keep your pressure low so that your heart has a chance to recover. But the side effect of these medications is that you feel like poop. It is like the air you move into turns to jello and you are slowly trying to move through it. If anyone has seen the old “Taxi” episode when they try to get the pot head to pass the drivers test and he is cheating on the test asking his friend “what does a yellow light mean” response “slow down” response “wwhhhaaattt dddoooeesss aaa yyyeelllooowww lliiiggghhtttt mmeeaaann?” you get the picture.
What I was doing was treading water. Then after a couple of weeks I was too sick even to be on light duty. I hurt all day all over. I would fill up with fluid and would puke every couple of hours at night. I remember finally just puking in the kitchen sink with the family in the living room watching tv. I could stay more upright and not have to bend over so far to puke. Then I would not feel so dizzy. How could a family of people in the EMS community not pick up on that this is sick. Well we did call every day and tell the clinic that I was sick. But its flu season, about a zillion people calling in for the same thing. I don’t think I really opened my eyes that much in the last couple days of that, it seemed like too much work. I would just try to freeze in a position that did not hurt or did not make me feel like crap. But what would I say when Julie or someone asked me how I was doing? “I am alright” response “No you are not”, my response “it is just the medications.”
Julie knew better and we would go to the clinic or the ER . During the day I would feel a little better and like everyone you try not to look like a wimp and you put your best foot forward when you are in public. The clinic/ER would say you need to see your cardiologist and the cardiologist would say go to the ER/clinic if you are acutely sick. They were doing what they could but really the clinic/ER is there to stabilize and not for long term care. The cardiologist is there to unwrap the big rubber band ball that was my condition. It was happening very quickly and I was still on the slope that comes before the cliff.
How do you tell your wife and look at your two boys and say that you had rather be dead than be in your current state. How do you arrive at that feeling without thinking that you must be the most selfish jerk on the planet. I have so many blessings in my life that I must really be losing it to be even considering this. But I was at the point that I was not functioning. I was existing but not living. I hurt. I felt like a burden. I could not think past my current pain because it was overwhelming.
Rich from the fire department called to check on me in the evening. I had worked with him and he was a straight shooter. When Julie gave him the skinny his answer was “should we come and pick him up right now?” That tells you that things had progressed which is hard to see when you are in it watching the decline. I did not want to bother anyone or cause trouble, SO I said absolutely not, I would not go. By the next morning I said I would go which caused a lot more trouble because of the shift change and what not. I should have just gone in the first place.
SO, in I went. The nurses were waiting when I got there because they had advance notice that I would be showing up. The fellas were waiting for me when I got there. The chief was there which was nice, but that worried me a little. Once I was in the room and saying that I was alright, I saw that I was not. The medics would just look at me and then at the monitor, I would not 'cause I could not turn that far and I did not want to see it anyway.
The Everett guys took me down to Harborview. I remember finally feeling like I could get some rest because they had given me some good stuff that took the pain away. Problem is that I relaxed so much that I remember someone saying “Steve….Breathe” a few times. This happens sometimes when you give pain meds because your target dose is different for everyone and everyone reacts differently. The medic has over 25 years under his belt and knew that stimulation would get me to breathe and that the effects would wear off quckly. But I remember thinking “JUST LET ME SLEEP DUDE….I BREATHE ALL THE TIME DUDE AND I DON’T NEED YOU TO REMIND ME…ITS MY HEART THAT IS THE PROBLEM FOR CHRISTS SAKE…”
The next week for me was sedation and a kind of “Alice in Wonderland skit” My eyes would pop open and I would see someone I knew, then I was out. They would pop open, I would see someone I did not know, then bye bye. A nurse would ask if would like some more ativan, I say sure, night night. Pink dinosaurs and scary clowns…okay now I am exaggerating….
Last entry was an introduction to me and the whirlwind trip of January and Febuary 2008 when I went from healthy guy to "heart transplant guy". It was not until I was at the UW that I had any type of realization of what exactly was going on. When the doc said you need a transplant I changed. Looking back on the events in hindsight it make sense what was going to happen. But obviously there would not be a blog if I just got better and went on my merry way.
For the first couple of weeks I was convinced that I would be back in the fire companies in a couple of weeks. There is no “smoking gun” from the biopsy that they did on my heart when I was cracked open. The medical term is idiopathic, or unknown. We are sorry Mr. Goforth but we cannot give you a reason why your heart blew up. But you hope for the best and fight.
When they made the discovery they put you on a lot of medications to help the heart pump more efficiently, move out any extra fluid, and keep your pressure low so that your heart has a chance to recover. But the side effect of these medications is that you feel like poop. It is like the air you move into turns to jello and you are slowly trying to move through it. If anyone has seen the old “Taxi” episode when they try to get the pot head to pass the drivers test and he is cheating on the test asking his friend “what does a yellow light mean” response “slow down” response “wwhhhaaattt dddoooeesss aaa yyyeelllooowww lliiiggghhtttt mmeeaaann?” you get the picture.
What I was doing was treading water. Then after a couple of weeks I was too sick even to be on light duty. I hurt all day all over. I would fill up with fluid and would puke every couple of hours at night. I remember finally just puking in the kitchen sink with the family in the living room watching tv. I could stay more upright and not have to bend over so far to puke. Then I would not feel so dizzy. How could a family of people in the EMS community not pick up on that this is sick. Well we did call every day and tell the clinic that I was sick. But its flu season, about a zillion people calling in for the same thing. I don’t think I really opened my eyes that much in the last couple days of that, it seemed like too much work. I would just try to freeze in a position that did not hurt or did not make me feel like crap. But what would I say when Julie or someone asked me how I was doing? “I am alright” response “No you are not”, my response “it is just the medications.”
Julie knew better and we would go to the clinic or the ER . During the day I would feel a little better and like everyone you try not to look like a wimp and you put your best foot forward when you are in public. The clinic/ER would say you need to see your cardiologist and the cardiologist would say go to the ER/clinic if you are acutely sick. They were doing what they could but really the clinic/ER is there to stabilize and not for long term care. The cardiologist is there to unwrap the big rubber band ball that was my condition. It was happening very quickly and I was still on the slope that comes before the cliff.
How do you tell your wife and look at your two boys and say that you had rather be dead than be in your current state. How do you arrive at that feeling without thinking that you must be the most selfish jerk on the planet. I have so many blessings in my life that I must really be losing it to be even considering this. But I was at the point that I was not functioning. I was existing but not living. I hurt. I felt like a burden. I could not think past my current pain because it was overwhelming.
Rich from the fire department called to check on me in the evening. I had worked with him and he was a straight shooter. When Julie gave him the skinny his answer was “should we come and pick him up right now?” That tells you that things had progressed which is hard to see when you are in it watching the decline. I did not want to bother anyone or cause trouble, SO I said absolutely not, I would not go. By the next morning I said I would go which caused a lot more trouble because of the shift change and what not. I should have just gone in the first place.
SO, in I went. The nurses were waiting when I got there because they had advance notice that I would be showing up. The fellas were waiting for me when I got there. The chief was there which was nice, but that worried me a little. Once I was in the room and saying that I was alright, I saw that I was not. The medics would just look at me and then at the monitor, I would not 'cause I could not turn that far and I did not want to see it anyway.
The Everett guys took me down to Harborview. I remember finally feeling like I could get some rest because they had given me some good stuff that took the pain away. Problem is that I relaxed so much that I remember someone saying “Steve….Breathe” a few times. This happens sometimes when you give pain meds because your target dose is different for everyone and everyone reacts differently. The medic has over 25 years under his belt and knew that stimulation would get me to breathe and that the effects would wear off quckly. But I remember thinking “JUST LET ME SLEEP DUDE….I BREATHE ALL THE TIME DUDE AND I DON’T NEED YOU TO REMIND ME…ITS MY HEART THAT IS THE PROBLEM FOR CHRISTS SAKE…”
The next week for me was sedation and a kind of “Alice in Wonderland skit” My eyes would pop open and I would see someone I knew, then I was out. They would pop open, I would see someone I did not know, then bye bye. A nurse would ask if would like some more ativan, I say sure, night night. Pink dinosaurs and scary clowns…okay now I am exaggerating….
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
And Then One Day...
And Then One Day...
Hello, my name is Steve Goforth and my family and friends have told me that I should start writing a blog. Well here I am…problem is that I do not know what a blog is. I am 37 and a firefighter and have missed some of the social developments that have arrived with the explosion of the internet. I am hip enough to have heard of blogging, but old enough not to understand. My children are still young but I believe that would put me in the “dorky old dad” box that I remember putting my father in not so many years ago. To the best of my knowledge I will be writing about my life and what has recently happened to me that has changed it forever as a definite huge fricking arrow in the timeline of my life.
This story tells you about a guy who was living his professional dream as a Firefighter/Paramedic with a beautiful wife and two young boys to a guy who needs a heart transplant to survive.
It happened really fast. I had had a cough for a while; I went to the doctor a week before the rug got pulled out from under me to complain about the cough. As a firefighter I come in contact with plenty of sick and flu people and wanted to get checked. They told me that my lungs were clear and come back if it got worse.
On the fourth of Jan I took my kid Baylor, who is six, night skiing at Stevens pass. I felt fine. No problem, good times. Next day I was at work. Long day, a few sick people and a small apartment fire at the end. After the fire I continued to cough and my partner actually gave me a cough drop cause I was keeping him up. Mind you this was at 5 am when we were trying to get a couple z’s before we went got our wake up tones at 7 am.
Went home and we had a birthday party for another kid to go to and I was beat. I told Julie (my wife) that I was going to go on a run to get the blood pumping so I could get through the day and maybe nap later. I was really getting back into my running routine because I had been training for the Columbia Center Stairclimb for Leukemia that was coming up. 69 floors in full bunker gear and a breathing mask. The words of wisdom in the fire service are “do not eat more than your mask will hold.” I did not want to chunder in front of the fellas and take crap from the fellas for the rest of my career.
Anyhow, I started my run and could not get going. I had to stop every 25 feet or so. Not feeling good and phlegm building up in the through that needed a clearing. Problem is that when I spit it up it was blood and not phlegm.
Crap I thought, I have pneumonia, I thought. I sure hope it is not TB. That is the thought of every public servant who sees someone who is coughing blood. We get tested every year.
I had some antibiotics so I took them and waited until Monday and went to the clinic. I wanted them to treat my pneumonia. The nurse felt my pulse and it was “funky”, took my blood pressure and it was low. Hooked me up to the monitor and my heart tracing was not looking good. It was irregular and I was throwing lots of “funky” beats.
X-ray showed an enlarged heart. I was told that I needed an immediate echocardiogram. This showed me with heart failure and an ejection fraction of 38%, it is supposed to be 60-70%. This tells you how much of your blood is pumped through.
I was scheduled for an immediate consult with the cardiologist that afternoon. He told me that this was either a serious condition that would require a transplant or a virus that would clear up. He could not know for sure unless he did an angiogram to check the arteries.
This was quite a meal to digest in one day. I called my wife and she was there in minutes. I hoped for the best because what could be that wrong with me, I was a healthy guy.
Things did not get better. I got worse. I would hurt all day and puke all night. I would call my cardiologist and was told to go to the clinic or the ER if I was sick. The ER would not admit me cause the condition could be handled outpatient. The docs at the walk in clinic told me that I needed to see a cardiologist.
Finally one night I told Julie that if this was the cure than I would rather be dead. That is when Julie called the medics at Everett and told them about what was going on. It was my shift and Julie knew the crew I worked with. I had been off for a few weeks and was working in the office telling everybody that I would be fine. Nobody really believed it because I did not look that good.
They had Marysville come and get me. I went to Colby. We made a quick decision to go to Seattle. I went to Harborview where I had trained as a Medic the year before. I don’t remember the next week. Julie is an EMT and knew that what the docs were doing was trying to stabilize me. I was in organ failure. I was sick enough with an ineffective heart that did not pump the blood that my organs were shutting down. Not a good thing. They had me pretty sedated so I remember friends and family being there but it was really fuzzy. I knew I was sick because they would look at me and then look at the monitor. There was a lot of concern in their face and not a lot of joke cracking that usually happens when the guys come to see you.
Next thing I remember is that I was at the UW and they had me on a balloon pump. It was hooked up to my aorta and would block it for the blood to build up and then release to let it flow. It build up pressure like when you put your thumb on a garden hose for a minute and then release.
Anyhow, I felt good because I had blood going to my brain and all other vital organs. There had been some question about just how much blood had ever been perfusing to my brain based on some of the decisions I had made.
I could not sit up and was stuck in bed. The doctors came to see me all the time. I was pretty popular (i.e. sick). Not long after I got there the doc came in and said “Steve, you heart is not working and you need a heart transplant.” Boom, that was it. No foreplay, no dinner, not even the exchanging of emails, I was immediately at the top of the list of potentially sick dudes. I do not know what my exact reaction was but I know I did not feel good about this one.
Hello, my name is Steve Goforth and my family and friends have told me that I should start writing a blog. Well here I am…problem is that I do not know what a blog is. I am 37 and a firefighter and have missed some of the social developments that have arrived with the explosion of the internet. I am hip enough to have heard of blogging, but old enough not to understand. My children are still young but I believe that would put me in the “dorky old dad” box that I remember putting my father in not so many years ago. To the best of my knowledge I will be writing about my life and what has recently happened to me that has changed it forever as a definite huge fricking arrow in the timeline of my life.
This story tells you about a guy who was living his professional dream as a Firefighter/Paramedic with a beautiful wife and two young boys to a guy who needs a heart transplant to survive.
It happened really fast. I had had a cough for a while; I went to the doctor a week before the rug got pulled out from under me to complain about the cough. As a firefighter I come in contact with plenty of sick and flu people and wanted to get checked. They told me that my lungs were clear and come back if it got worse.
On the fourth of Jan I took my kid Baylor, who is six, night skiing at Stevens pass. I felt fine. No problem, good times. Next day I was at work. Long day, a few sick people and a small apartment fire at the end. After the fire I continued to cough and my partner actually gave me a cough drop cause I was keeping him up. Mind you this was at 5 am when we were trying to get a couple z’s before we went got our wake up tones at 7 am.
Went home and we had a birthday party for another kid to go to and I was beat. I told Julie (my wife) that I was going to go on a run to get the blood pumping so I could get through the day and maybe nap later. I was really getting back into my running routine because I had been training for the Columbia Center Stairclimb for Leukemia that was coming up. 69 floors in full bunker gear and a breathing mask. The words of wisdom in the fire service are “do not eat more than your mask will hold.” I did not want to chunder in front of the fellas and take crap from the fellas for the rest of my career.
Anyhow, I started my run and could not get going. I had to stop every 25 feet or so. Not feeling good and phlegm building up in the through that needed a clearing. Problem is that when I spit it up it was blood and not phlegm.
Crap I thought, I have pneumonia, I thought. I sure hope it is not TB. That is the thought of every public servant who sees someone who is coughing blood. We get tested every year.
I had some antibiotics so I took them and waited until Monday and went to the clinic. I wanted them to treat my pneumonia. The nurse felt my pulse and it was “funky”, took my blood pressure and it was low. Hooked me up to the monitor and my heart tracing was not looking good. It was irregular and I was throwing lots of “funky” beats.
X-ray showed an enlarged heart. I was told that I needed an immediate echocardiogram. This showed me with heart failure and an ejection fraction of 38%, it is supposed to be 60-70%. This tells you how much of your blood is pumped through.
I was scheduled for an immediate consult with the cardiologist that afternoon. He told me that this was either a serious condition that would require a transplant or a virus that would clear up. He could not know for sure unless he did an angiogram to check the arteries.
This was quite a meal to digest in one day. I called my wife and she was there in minutes. I hoped for the best because what could be that wrong with me, I was a healthy guy.
Things did not get better. I got worse. I would hurt all day and puke all night. I would call my cardiologist and was told to go to the clinic or the ER if I was sick. The ER would not admit me cause the condition could be handled outpatient. The docs at the walk in clinic told me that I needed to see a cardiologist.
Finally one night I told Julie that if this was the cure than I would rather be dead. That is when Julie called the medics at Everett and told them about what was going on. It was my shift and Julie knew the crew I worked with. I had been off for a few weeks and was working in the office telling everybody that I would be fine. Nobody really believed it because I did not look that good.
They had Marysville come and get me. I went to Colby. We made a quick decision to go to Seattle. I went to Harborview where I had trained as a Medic the year before. I don’t remember the next week. Julie is an EMT and knew that what the docs were doing was trying to stabilize me. I was in organ failure. I was sick enough with an ineffective heart that did not pump the blood that my organs were shutting down. Not a good thing. They had me pretty sedated so I remember friends and family being there but it was really fuzzy. I knew I was sick because they would look at me and then look at the monitor. There was a lot of concern in their face and not a lot of joke cracking that usually happens when the guys come to see you.
Next thing I remember is that I was at the UW and they had me on a balloon pump. It was hooked up to my aorta and would block it for the blood to build up and then release to let it flow. It build up pressure like when you put your thumb on a garden hose for a minute and then release.
Anyhow, I felt good because I had blood going to my brain and all other vital organs. There had been some question about just how much blood had ever been perfusing to my brain based on some of the decisions I had made.
I could not sit up and was stuck in bed. The doctors came to see me all the time. I was pretty popular (i.e. sick). Not long after I got there the doc came in and said “Steve, you heart is not working and you need a heart transplant.” Boom, that was it. No foreplay, no dinner, not even the exchanging of emails, I was immediately at the top of the list of potentially sick dudes. I do not know what my exact reaction was but I know I did not feel good about this one.
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